Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

I just wanted you to know that you were right. You didn't have faith in a lot of people, but you believed in your husband. You said that he promised you faithfully that he would take care of me and Nicholas should anything ever happen to you. I wasn't sure what to expect. You were always my only ally. It's been very scary since you've been gone. But you were right. Bob Huie has stood by us and he's the only one who has hugged me when I cry. I know he truly cares. He hugs me and tells me that he's sorry that I hurt, he tells me we can make it. He hasn't taken away our only security, and he takes steps to ensure that we survive when he is gone, too. I guess I worried that he would let you down, because so many others had. But you told me you knew, and I should have known that you were right. You always were. So thank you, Mom, for giving me someone who loved you enough that he loves us too. I know it was for us more than it ever was for you, because you never thought of yourself first. You always gave me all you could, and I've never felt more love than the love I have from you.

With all my heart and soul,

Your daughter,

Victoria

Summer's Here...

Mom hated summer. Something else we shared. Her mother hated it, too. We would much rather be cold with a hot cup of tea. My grandma loved the rain, and so did Mom. A day or two ( I can't remember which) after Mom passed away, there was a rainy day like I'd never seen before. I remember thinking that it was Mom. I thought she was making a powerful statement. A statement of maybe she hadn't wanted it to end like this. I felt she was telling me she would never be gone, that she was still here looking out for me. She gave me the strong rain to show how strong she now was, and how strong she wanted me to be.

And summer didn't set in too early this year. I think Mom has made friends with Mother Nature, and she's held it off especially for me this year. Mom has always been powerful, and I believe she is more powerful now than ever. And I believe she has held fast to her life long purpose of taking care of those she loves. I know her like no one ever knew her, and the one thing Mom would never do is 'give up'... and neither will I.

Six Months Later...

I look at you everyday; your pictures, your housecoat, your pots & pans. I cut the coupons for our shopping day (still Thursday). I make Bob chocolate pudding. I order books for Nicholas on Amazon. And when I feel lonely for you, I drink tea out of your special cup (it's where it always was, and there's always a fresh tea bag inside... waiting). We went to the beach, and I looked out at the ocean and the sand, and I pictured you standing by the pier. We gathered shells and then we took them up on the pier and each picked a special one to throw in the water in honor of you.

I still cry. There is such a void in my soul, in my life. I know it's better for you this way, and I would never bring you back to what was. My heart was breaking for you when you were still here, and though you pain is gone, my heart breaks now because I miss you. But you suffered so for me, and I will live with my broken heart for you.

Someday I feel that God will let us be together again, and I will be waiting... Time After Time...