If you were here on this day, Mom, you would know like you knew every year, that it is one of several out of the year that always pains me. Only you would look inside and see the hurt and confusion that has always clouded my way. Only Mom, and that is something you would have liked to spare me from. I always knew the burden that you carried alone, but because I am a mother now I share it, too. Because of you, I didn't have to be alone, and selfishly I clung to you and knew that you would always understand. I'm grateful that I had you in my life as long as I did. Thank you for not only carrying your own burdens and never faltering, but for willingly helping me carry mine, too. Moms are for so many things, and I will do my best to carry on the tasks that came so naturally to you.
I will recall the words you always said to see me through this day. I will see your eyes that gave me comfort when words would never do. I will hear you laugh and see you smile, and feel your warm embrace. And as always I will love you like no other. Though you're not here, I still feel you, because you made sure you gave me all you could. You gave me all your love so I would never be alone, and I will always hold you close to me, my Dear. You will always be my best friend..."Time After Time..."
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Mom used to joke when anticipating a call or visit she would rather avoid. She'd say, "Tell them Alyce doesn't live here anymore", and she'd smile the way only she could, or laugh that wonderful "Belknap" laugh. I can still hear her.
On December 1, 2009, after waking up at home and spending the day with those she loved, Mom fell asleep in my chair for the last time. All traces of her ordeal at the hospital washed away, her hair soft and gray, freshly done, in her favorite yellow floral nightgown with her warm and snuggly robe; she rested with her feet on the ottoman, covered with her favorite blanket. She closed her big hazel eyes, secure again at home where she belonged.
Finally at peace. Mom had toiled for too long. Though she never complained. To her there was much to do, and she wouldn't have chosen to leave. Mom gave her all, and more, everyday unselfishly to those she loved. And she never asked for anything in return. I'm afraid she never got much either. Mom didn't covet material things, but there were so many things I would have given to make her much more comfortable if my wallet could have allowed. God knows she gave freely of her own. But her biggest wealth came from her heart. The love she gave would wrap you in a blanket of security, where you were sure no one could ever get to you without going through her first, and I never met a force strong enough to get through her. If she was your ally, you needed no more.
The secrets that we shared will never leave me, the love she gave will sustain me evermore. For every trial that life gives me, I have the strength and insight of Mom's words. That was her gift to me, she taught me life and showed me by example how to survive. She was a pillar of optimism in the face of adversity, and she never faltered or gave up, it wasn't in her. She was made of much too tough a character, morality and values without end. Proof that in the end it's not what you have, it's what you're made of. She's my hero and I'm thankful to have known her; proud to be her daughter and her friend.
So, "Alyce doesn't live here" isn't quite true. She lives forever and her love will never fade. If your path crossed hers than you will not forget her, and you will never know such luck again...
On December 1, 2009, after waking up at home and spending the day with those she loved, Mom fell asleep in my chair for the last time. All traces of her ordeal at the hospital washed away, her hair soft and gray, freshly done, in her favorite yellow floral nightgown with her warm and snuggly robe; she rested with her feet on the ottoman, covered with her favorite blanket. She closed her big hazel eyes, secure again at home where she belonged.
Finally at peace. Mom had toiled for too long. Though she never complained. To her there was much to do, and she wouldn't have chosen to leave. Mom gave her all, and more, everyday unselfishly to those she loved. And she never asked for anything in return. I'm afraid she never got much either. Mom didn't covet material things, but there were so many things I would have given to make her much more comfortable if my wallet could have allowed. God knows she gave freely of her own. But her biggest wealth came from her heart. The love she gave would wrap you in a blanket of security, where you were sure no one could ever get to you without going through her first, and I never met a force strong enough to get through her. If she was your ally, you needed no more.
The secrets that we shared will never leave me, the love she gave will sustain me evermore. For every trial that life gives me, I have the strength and insight of Mom's words. That was her gift to me, she taught me life and showed me by example how to survive. She was a pillar of optimism in the face of adversity, and she never faltered or gave up, it wasn't in her. She was made of much too tough a character, morality and values without end. Proof that in the end it's not what you have, it's what you're made of. She's my hero and I'm thankful to have known her; proud to be her daughter and her friend.
So, "Alyce doesn't live here" isn't quite true. She lives forever and her love will never fade. If your path crossed hers than you will not forget her, and you will never know such luck again...
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